I am truly grateful, beyond measure, for this human body of mine. The creativity, the free spirited natural expression of love. I forget how much a human is capable of and what our experience provides: the ability to do, to think, and to feel so much; to be so many things. A poet or painter, sportsman or gladiator, a lost soul, a ruthless businessman, righteous politician, or corrupt lawyer; all possible only in the world of man.
While many are not bread to fight lions or meant to cover canvases with delicious and allusive art; we all ultimately have the potential and power of man.
My body, like all, has the potential for greatness no matter the circumstances, the potential for individualization, as Carl Jung coined. It’s recognition I feel lost in our present situation. Where so many are sought after stability to the point they are creating new identities and desperately fortifying them for the sake of some form of comfort while traveling through the abyss.
When forgotten or misunderstood, the same power which inhibits freedom, instead brings about pain, confusion, and general suffering.
Self-inflicted madness; unquestioned and embodied beliefs of self, imposing beliefs on others, and the reoccurring complications that arise because of these ideals. A thirst for stability, and a fixation upon the pursuit of such.
I am convinced I cause myself the majority of my own pain. The tension I feel in my head, the stiffness in my chest and back, the constriction of my arms and shoulders; bouts of anger, frustration, sorrow, hopelessness- these are symptoms of pain much more chronic and harder to recognize. Relatively deep in the psyche, where dense emotions unfold with great patience and care. This is where the nectar awaits, the letting go, the expansion into new ideas and beliefs about oneself. Look deep enough into oneself and… well there’s no bottom; I can then see and know that I am no disgrace, I’m not doomed, I’m caught up with confusion, like a tree limb stuck in a stream. With a rush of water, however, the limb breaks free and continues on down down down.
Yes! There is no stability, but there is no bottom either.
Muscles relax, tensions fade. The situation becomes retextured with ease. Conditions haven’t changed, but being has.
Settling back into oneself; individualizing.
“You may not be where you’d ideally like to be, but this is life after all, this is not you.” - Unknown
Sometimes I need to remember how fluid and unstable my relative identity can be, rather then try to box up and label who I am. In the past I’ve tended to opt for a boxed approach, it the seemingly easier, not to mention safer, and more comfortable option- to build the box, but the fluidity of existence is where the magic happens, where the power and potential of human life lies. Not to mention, I’d always end up wanting out of the box.
Sometimes I forget this, but I’m doing my best to seal the leaky cup, and work hard to fill it so that I may enjoy the sweet tea of peace.
Then fill it again, I will.
In union with creation there is peace.
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More to come,
Tasha Delek.
Thanks again for your wonderful insight. Find yourself and you find the world.